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Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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Later, I’m walkin’ down the Buncrana’s Main Street again, and I spot this street performer. He’s playin’ the fiddle like a madman. I’m talkin’ serious talent. I toss him a few coins, and he gives me a nod. I’m feelin’ all inspired, so I whip out my guitar and start jammin’ with him. We’re just two random dudes makin’ music in the middle of the street. It’s pure magic, man.

Buncrana woman Tanya Collins is Donegal’s newest solicitor